Family Coping Strategies

After a disaster family dynamics will change. Death, disabilities, separations, marital conflicts, increased divorce rates, conflicts between parents and children, and dependency on outside help are  all factors. How each member deals with the trauma will affect the other family members. There is a great deal that we can do to help each other cope with the trauma and to help prevent the increased conflicts and difficulties that can result from a disaster.

—       Take care of ourselves – we are the parents and we are the key to their recovery and survival.

—       Review emergency preparedness plans and kits, make adjustments and replace the items that were used (along with your food storage). Continue drills. Let the kids help in all planning and preparation.

—       Hugs and cuddles - Physical contact is important as it provides extra assurance of safety and security. Extra comfort and contact is necessary especially before bedtimes. That cuddle time is a tangible sign that they are safe and not alone.

—       Minimize exposure to media, if they are exposed be present to explain and discuss images and facts.

—       Use social support systems – friends, family, churches, community organizations, other resources

—       Continue to involve them with specific tasks in helping the family and community to recover. Allow them to help choose where and what they do.

—       Do something positive as a family – help others, volunteer, write letters, or visit others. Service is one of the best medicines (be sure you choose safe and age appropriate tasks)

—       Laugh and take time to do something together as a family – replace fear with good memories

—       Strengthen peer relationships and support- this is important for everyone in the family. Talking with friends and family will help everyone sort through emotions and problems that accompany disaster. Friends and family help to establish a feeling of safety and normalcy. Isolation only increases emotional distress and anxiety.

—       Return to school – the classroom should include discussions about the disaster an opportunities to express their feelings about it and gradually move back to regular schedule. Encourage your school to have teacher's trained before a disaster in coping techniques. They are usually the ones asked to help with coping after a disaster by disaster personal, if they have that training before hand, than they can focus on the students faster.

—       Maintain daily schedules and routines - they are reassured through structure and familiarity. Continue celebrating birthdays and holidays, gatherings, and sports have extra meaning during stressful times. Someone at a presentation mentioned adding an emergency birthday kit to your 72 hour kit or food storage. Have a cake mix and small gift. And if there's no birthdays... well everyone loves cake!

—       Use rituals  - there was a family that released a balloon for every item lost in a house fire. You could create a family memorial, or decide a tradition to do on the date of the disaster.

—       Work with teachers, sitters, and day care providers. Parents need to be aware of classroom discussions and teachers need to be aware of children’s fears or concerns

—       Be tolerant of irritability and short tempers

—       Stay in touch with family and friends outside the area and within

—       Accept help in the spirit in which it is offered

—       Prayer is a great coping skill!

—       Let them be kids

—       Watch for physical symptoms of stress

—       Set priorities and problem solve as a family, take it one step at a time. Even an ordinary work load under this kind of stress can be unbearable. Create a checklist of to do’s and allow a sense of accomplishment for each one.

Priorities should be

1)      basic needs: food, water, clothing, shelter

2)      physical safety and security

3)      safety and integrity of their family

4)      long term needs (jobs, homes, community)

These will help restore emotional balance and health. Here there is no separation between emotional and physical needs meet one, meet both.

—       Relief of symptoms – (great distress) relaxation techniques, desensitization, restoring previous treatments for those with previous mental issues. Using or creating community rituals.